A lot of my posts cover people’s necessity for other people. As humans, we’re continuously completing one another in various aspects. From sports to the workplace to the hearth, we’re reminded time and time again that we can’t do everything by ourselves.
This past week, a friend on Facebook had asked for some relationship advice and whether things just fall together when you stop looking. I pointed her to my post about how my husband and I met, then, unintentionally, started writing about how a good— even ideal— relationship should work for the majority of the time in terms of a two-person raid team:
Marriage is a partnership, a team effort. When you pick someone for your sports or professional team, for example, you don’t want someone who is unskilled or, worse yet, someone who is unsure of their skill. Everyone must pull their weight to make the project work or win the game.
In my story, while it’s a rather unique circumstance, the way [my husband] and I held our own *and* relied on one another in the WoW really spoke volumes about our personalities— and was what ultimately built the foundation of our relationship. As a tank, he was on the frontline taking the beating, but needed me to make sure everyone else wasn’t taking a beating so he could focus; as ranged dps, I couldn’t take a very good beating (at least, not for very long), but I was integral in laying out strategy and tactics, and helping him slay the monster before it killed him.
Put in “traditional” marriage terms, his tanking in WoW translates directly into him being a father, a husband, and the primary breadwinner, whereas my tactical DPS role translates directly into me being a mother and a wife who works part-time.
I then realized that this had nothing to do with what my friend was asking about and promptly rewrote my response to fit the topic. Whoopsies!
The points remain the same, however: There are good days and bad days; sometimes you have to stand as one with your partner, and sometimes you might be standing on your own. But, remember, there are also days when you have to sit out, take a break, and let your partner take the helm. It’s all a part of being a team. You each bring something with your chosen roles and strengths. Just because you aren’t as strong in some suits, it doesn’t make you weak or even insufficient. It just means you’re human with all of the limitations that come with being human.
During our daughter’s infancy, my husband and I would tag-team nightly feedings and other such responsibilities. It was like a real-life Netherspite encounter— which, incidentally, he and I had teamed up for dancing the red beam of aggro and hatred during our Karazhan days. We like to refer to our first Netherspite dance as our first date.
To this day, we still have that same raid team mentality, especially when we need a reminder of our strengths and what we bring to the table. Our daughter is now the equivalent of a hunter’s pet (hence the term “pet human,” as coined by my brother in law): aggros the wrong thing, breaks traps, sometimes engages the boss too early, doesn’t know how to path correctly, but is sometimes very good at grabbing aggro from you and healing bad days with a giggle— yeah, sounds like a toddler to me.
PS: There was a bit in the marriage vows where it said the husband was supposed to “cleave unto his wife,” and we couldn’t stop giggling at the altar because he’s a warrior tank— and an orc, at that. It’s still a running joke between us.